Am I Really Suspected Of Violating Federal Law?
Well, that's what the email that I received yesterday informed me. Was my original reaction one of shock and fear? I couldn't get past the first sentence of the email without laughing.
Apparently I am in violation of some federal law under Title 16 USC 8763. I don't know what the hell that is. Of course the line with the title number is clickable which I did not click on. Do I look stupid?
Then the email states that my court case will be next week at 3:30pm in Courtroom 6B. Next week at 3:30pm when? No day or date is listed. And just what building in what city in what country has a Courtroom 6B? Plus, why is Courtroom capitalized? At this point how did my head not explode with all this stupidity?
And that's not all. The email also mentions that if my attorney or I are not able to attend, we can click on the attached link to respond. Again, do I look stupid? The next line states that I need to respond in the next 10 workdays before the day of the hearing. I have to admit my math abilities are not the greatest, but I think 10 workdays might be past the court date which is sometime next week at 3:30pm. And again, we don't know exactly what day the court date is.
The email comes from someone named Alison Solis, Chief Secretary Prosecutor. Well Alison Solis, I did an internet search for what a Chief Secretary Prosecutor is. All I could find were a couple of articles about a Chief Secretary in the country of India. So Alison, if that is your real name, is my court date in Courtroom 6B somewhere in a courthouse in a city in India?
If so, I don't think I'm allowed to fly out of the country right now with the Covid-19 thing happening, plus I'm currently strapped for cash. But if you want to send me money for airfare, accommodations, meals and sightseeing excursions, I would appreciate it, which I may or may not repay you, and I'll work with you to reschedule for another day, sometime in another week, in some other year, in any country of your choice, at anytime except 3:30pm. I'm always busy at that time.
Don Morgan (if that's my real name)
Chief Secretary Director of the I Don't Fall For These Scams Department