Learning, Yet Again, From Robin Williams

I grew up with Robin Williams. From Happy Days, where Mork was introduced, to news that Williams had been with John Belushi the day Belushi died of an overdose, to Comic Relief, Aladdin and more, Robin Williams was an everyday part of life.

In his serious moments, Williams revealed his total devotion to his children, his wife, his work and Jonathan Winters. Winters, who passed away last year, was like a father to Robin. Robin was devastated.

It appears that Robin Williams took his own life. I hear many, many people asking why he would do that if he had everything. Well, let me explain.

Depression is a chameleon, it is a legit illness. It can come on quickly, change "colors", and be caused by many things. I suffered from depression for years. I am not ashamed to say that. The cause of my illness was two fold: fear of my mortality and hormonal.

There comes a point in your battle with it where you arrive at a crossroads. Either you get continuous help, or you don't. Even when you get help, it is a daily struggle. The risk of suicide is extremely high no matter what road you take.

This is where people scratch their heads. "It's so selfish!" (How cowardly!" They cry. It appears to be, but that is through the eyes of people who haven't felt it. You see, the feeling part is the excruciating part. You feel every millimeter of pain and it is sharper than the most horrible pain you could even imagine...because it comes from within.

In most cases the depth of the depression is so deep, that unless you go through it yourself, you cannot comprehend it. Even I stood at the very edge at one point. Yes, I had every reason to live, but the darkness enveloped me, the pain was too much. Somehow, I stepped back from that ledge and I can't tell you how.  Robin Williams couldn't.

He did reach out for help, though. Earlier this year, he announced online that he was going to rehab because he felt he was going to fall off the sobriety wagon. I don't know if he sought help with the depression too, but chances are that came up.

I can't tell you why some people save themselves and some others don't. All I know is, getting help is key.

As we get older, that mortality issue hangs over us. For Williams he also had to deal with changing his role in the entertainment world from the cool, middle age guy to elder statesman as he did in the TV show "The Crazy Ones." For Williams, that was difficult.

So, honor Robin Williams by sharing memories and posting videos but take it a step farther too. If you feel that you are depressed, take the step to help yourself. Don't let your family feel like Robin Williams' does today. Do it for yourself.

In an emergency, call 911. If you don't feel comfortable with that there are other choices.

1. Got to an area hospital emergency room.

2. Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK.

3. Adult assistance: call the Community Treatment and Recovery Center at 797-0680.

4. For children, call the Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health Center at 773-4520.

5.. Call Binghamton General's crisis line: 800-451-0560.

6. Talk to a trusted person who will understand. It will help you stay grounded until you get help.

For those that are full time employed, and in some cases part time, there is the Employee Assistance program (EAP) that may be available to you. You get 5-6 mental health visits so you can start working to heal. Check with your HR department. It is strictly confidential.

Don't feel embarrassed. Depression is a true illness, just like cancer or any other major disease. It is not your fault.