Wrapping Christmas Present Disasters

As promised, last Saturday was designated as the one and only day I would do my Christmas shopping.
It's what I do.
Call me a last minute guy - do it all in one day.
Yea, just like Santa.

I got up early to begin the madness.
The time of the day combined with crappy weather assured me I would not run into heavy traffic both on the road and in the stores.
The plan worked out perfectly.

Power shopping is what I do.
Plan what to buy, where to go, and stick to the schedule.
I found what I needed at each stop, paid for the purchase and moved onto the next store.
In a relative short time, the task was done.

What's left to do?
Wrap the gifts.
Oh boy.

Understand up front, I am the worst gift wrapping person on the planet.
There is no amount of training I could receive that would improve my ability to perfectly wrap a gift.
I have no patience with scissors.
I'm left-handed, and of course only own right-handed scissors, so you can imagine that train wreck.
Yes, it does make a difference.
Ask any left-handed person.

Tape - it's not my friend.
Tear it off, and it instantly wraps around my fingers.
Can't undo the mess, so I try again.
You can picture the scenario.

At this point, I have wrapping paper with jagged edges, not square by any means, mangled tape, and the gift staring at me as if to say " are you really gonna wrap that mess around me?"
But I try.
Not very successful though.
Nothing lines up, the cheap wrapping paper begins to rip, tape is not sticking where I want it to, and I'm getting frustrated.
The Solution?
Cut off some more paper and cover the uneven, ripped, mangled taped sections with more of the same.
It's a creation of ugliness.
Anyone watching would certainly be entertained by this feeble attempt.

In time, gift after gift gives way to my unorthodox creation.
I carefully place each gift in an over-sized bag where they will be hidden until Christmas Eve when they will be admired, or not, under the tree.
How unfortunate.
It is a beautiful tree until my Frankenstein-type creations land underneath.

But as we all know, the covering is just a temporary distraction.
It's the gift that really matters.
Or in my case, the thought, even if it's accompanied by jokes about my lack of gift wrapping abilities.

Happy wrapping to you and Merry Christmas.