7 Reasons the Bills Will Go Absolutely Nowhere in the Playoffs
So... the Bills made the playoffs. Great.
Ten-win season? Sweet.
They won't go anywhere in the playoffs.
I know, I know. You're mad. How dare I say that? I'm just a hater, just like everyone else in national sports media that hates the Bills.
Before you sharpen your pitchforks and light the torches, here are our reasons for why the Bills will bounced early from the playoffs... which may or may not be true...
The Bills defense has been the rock of the team, single-handedly carrying the offense to victory in some games.
All that carrying has to be killing the lower back of the defense. It's got to give out at some point.
What if Josh Allen, who went to the State University of Wyoming, just decides, "You know what? I miss living in a state that is shaped like a perfect rectangle."?
Maybe he would move back to try to get an NFL franchise in the least populous state... or maybe an XFL team.
The talented rookie running back is the resident young guy on the team, but what if we're underestimating how young he really is?
What if he is actually nine years old, and is playing running back for the Bills during recess?
Recess has to end at some point.
Tre'Davious White is on the record as being the sole operator of Tre'Davious White Goalie Academy of Louisiana at Buffalo:
Someone's got to run the school. Who else will train the future goalies of America?
Remember back in 2012 when all the rage was thinking that the world was going to end on December 21, 2012 because the ancient Aztecs said so?
What if they weren't wrong, just a little off?
You heard it here first: The world will end on December 21, 2019, ruining the Bills' playoff hopes (and everyone else's).
Back to Tre White, remember when the Ravens' playbook blew onto the field during their game with the Bills, and White read it?
I'm sure whoever the Bills will play was paying attention, and will plant a fake playbook for White to find, thus making him late for his flight.
A fool-proof plan.