’80s Fashions Return in 2017
I'm not sure if I should run, screaming for the hills or if I should just do my best to embrace the return of my worst fashion decade- the 1980's.
In all fairness, I was only 10 years old by the time 1990 rolled around, but the nearly 10 years I spent in the 80s was pretty much a fashion nightmare. Can I just tell you how not awesome shoulder pads are when you're a tiny little girl with really broad shoulders? While all my friends were sporting awesome tops with shoulder pads, my mother banned me from wearing them. At the time I thought she was evil, but I now realize that I totally would have looked like a mini-linebacker. Thanks for looking out, mom!
And the hair! When He was creating me, God must have thought "hmmm- I wonder what super coarse, frizzy, out of control hair would look like on this sweet angel." And so He gifted me with the most difficult to manage hair that the world has ever seen. While I didn't lack the volume that 80s hair called for, I lacked the control. I looked like a mix between Albert Einstein and Macy Gray. I'm not even kidding. Even crimping it ended in disaster. Every time. This is a photo of what my hair looked like AFTER my mom straightened my hair with AN IRON. Yes, an actual clothing iron. It was called 'desperation.'
Pastel colored jumpers and jelly really shoes only look good on a few body types- none of which I possess. And can we talk about jelly shoes for a minute? I know people go ga-ga when they reminisce about them, but do you remember what would happen if your feet were to sweat while wearing them? Stand in those suckers in the hot summer humidity for a couple hours and you'd end up with stinky feet, covered in blisters. But hey, anything for fashion, right?
The reason I've brought up 80s fashion trends is because I read something in Allure that said the biggest styles in 2017 will mirror the biggest styles of the 1980s. There aren't a lot of fashion trends from the 80s that I actually liked, but there was one. Chokers. I had quite the impressive collection and wore them with everything. All the time. Every day, much to my mom's chagrin (did I mention I have a naturally short neck?).
If you were a 1980s choker lover, great news! They're back in 2017. However, there's a little catch. According to Esquire, 2017 will be the year of chokers...for men. Esquire says that guys will sport every style imaginable from leather to silver, velvet to studded.