Somehow, for some reason, when you cross the threshold from single to married, the crazy questions come out of nowhere... like, all of the time! Check out some of these common, annoying questions that newlyweds have to face. Don't be "that guy" on the giving end of these:

  • 1

    "So... when are you having kids?"

    Or, any variation on this, like: "When are you going to start trying?" or " Are you pulling the goalie?" This question also applies to us single-folk in serious relationships, too.

  • 2

    "She's not hyphenating and/or taking your horrible last name, right?"

    What's so wrong with the last name "Mills"? It's not like it's "Douchecanoe" or something like that.

  • 3

    "Are you still allowed to go out without her?"

    As if I wasn't before? The ball and chain isn't there to keep me from going out with friends on occasion. It's to make sure that I don't go out with said friends, and pick up "chiiicks, man". My role has been, and will continue to be, Wingman. Like Goose, but more... alive.

  • 4

    "Hey, you know that statistics show you have less than 50% chance of this working out?"

    Why don't you shoosh? Take your jaded comments elsewhere.

  • 5

    "She'll make a great first wife!"

    Hopefully she'll make a great ONLY wife. Again, you may be jaded, but I don't need that kind of negativity around me.

  • 6

    "Congrats! Your sex life is over!"

    I would imagine that these aren't the same people asking when the kids will be popping out. Because, you can't have one without the other. What's it gonna be?

  • 7

    "I always thought that you'd end up with (fill-in-the-blank person) instead of her."

    Now, you see, that person was a cheating slob. Not exactly wife material. You don't know this because I choose not to take care of my dirty laundry in front of other people. You would probably know this if you recall that she slept with several people you know.

  • 8

    "You probably already miss the single life, huh?"

    No. No I don't. Things will not be changing about my responsibilities. She wouldn't be marrying me if all the while we were dating, I was out getting with other women. Whether a boyfriend or husband, I have an obligation to stay faithful . If not, I wouldn't be where I am now.

  • 9

    "Why bother exercising or eating right? You can get fat now!"

    Incorrect. She didn't sign up for that, just as I wouldn't expect her to let herself go. Whether in a relationship or married, you have a responsibility to keep yourself up to par. It wouldn't be fair to her, just as it wouldn't be fair to me. I want her to want to keep me around... and likewise, I'm sure.

  • 10

    "Welcome to the club! Now we can be miserable together!"

    Do you not realize that we've been living together for quite a while now? We spend our free time together day-in-and-day-out. If I wasn't miserable already of the routine, why would I be now?