So You Think Your Weekend Was Bad?

I come into work on Mondays,  and I get to hear about everyone's weekend.  Usually that's one good story to 11-bad ones. And I rarely participate or reciprocate because, well, what happens outside of the radio station stays outside of the radio station. Usually......

So You Think You Had a Bad Weekend??

Mine started out Friday, when I had to leave work early due to a massive migraine headache. My head was pounding and my stomach was nauseous  (That's what working with LeeAnn does to a person..  lol)
So I get myself home, lay down and take a nap. When I woke, I decided a little soup was in order for my ailing belly. While eating my cream of chicken, I felt snot running outta my nose. Only thing was, that it wasn't snot, it was blood. YES, 52 years old and I got my first bloody nose, not from a fist,  in 30 years.
Saturday, I still had the remnants of a headache, but I decided to venture out anyway. I had an appointment at the Brackle Bar and Grille, on route 23 in the Town of Pitcher.  And there's a reason their motto is 'Conveniently located in the middle of nowhere!' It's a cool place in the middle of freakin NO-WHERE!
Anyway, upon driving home from The Brackel... MY TRUCK DIES! Luckily it was a half mile from my house and not 'Conveniently in the middle of no-where!'

I need a new fuel pump. GREAT! The fuel pump is in the tank and I just filled up!
Sunday, I call and get my truck towed to a friends. Cha-ching. Next I have to get a rental car for a few days.  IDEA!  My mother in law is in the hospital so she won't be using her car for a bit, so maybe I can borrow it?  My luck may be turning around..

I still have that sinus headache, but I jump in the shower. Achoooo! I sneeze big time, and I get another bloody nose. GREAT!  I grab some T.P. for some packing, get dressed and get going to me mum-in-laws.
I get in Pontiac G-6 and it fires right up. Cool! So I turn my borrowed ticket to freedom toward my hometown of Greene. I'm driving along on route 369 in Port Crane, when a NYS Trooper passes me... turns the lights on, pulls a U Turn and, YES.... Pulls me over! It's funny how the colors red-white and blue symbolize freedom, unless it's flasshing in your review mirror.   Apparently my mother-in-laws car was out of inspection.. TWO MONTHS OUT OF INSPECTION! And no my ticket to freedom just became my ticket to the Town of Fenton Court!
So I finally get the car home, and rest for a spell. We decide it would be best for my wife to take the car to work so she can get it inspected. (She works at Matthews Ford and PPO in Norwich.) That's when, just before bedtime, I went looking for the keys for the Pontiac.

PANIC sets in! I Can't Find Them!
I retrace my steps. I go back to the grocery store and The Dollar General. No one has them! I get out the flashlight, search the driveway and the garage, to no avail. Wait... I remember throwing something in the garbage from her car... might they be there?

They have to be there! I take off the lid and start going through the discarded packages of chicken breasts and ground meat. Down past the vacuum cleaner bag and the cauliflower guts. I dive all the way to the bottom of the 44 gallon can.... Nothing! They are not there.. and there is NOT ANOTHER SET OF KEYS!

Dejected, I walk back in the house, covered in salmonella slime and coffee grounds, knowing I'm gonna have lots of 'splannin to do to ole mum-in-law.
AND THEN I HEARD THE ANGELS SING
Call off the search party.... Found 'Em! The keys slid off the dining room table and onto a chair, and were hidden by my wife's jacket that she put on to help me find the little suckers.

Whew! Crisis Averted!

And just in time for me to go to bed and dream this wretched weekend behind me!