Quotes That Make You Laugh

If you are like me, you've run across comments or quotes from people that just make you laugh out loud, and you want to share with others, but of course always forget to do just that.

So, I decided to share with you some of the funnier quotes I've seen lately, many from Facebook and Twitter Friends and Family.

Laugh away.

"When I say - wow, that's crazy, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven't been listening to a word of your conversation."

"Thought for the day: No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. Don't sweat the small stuff."

"Whenever I see someone write "to funny," I picture them with their fist in the air, on a quest to find the land of funny."

"Facebook ate my bagel sandwich."

"Breaking: Obama: 'No evidence' of national security harm in Petraeus scandal, but I do want the phone numbers of those hot Kelley twins..."

"Well, it's been almost a month since I've given up; Carbs, Sugar, Wine & Hope. I really don't miss the first three, but if anyone see's Hope, please have her call me."

"Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters."

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is."

"I hate when I invite someone to my house and they actually show up."

Do you have any funny quotes to add?