How To Be The Perfect Couch Potato

Happy National Potato Month! Yes, September is the month we celebrate the delish root that is the main ingredient of loaded french fries (among other things). It's also a figurative part of the term "couch potato". You know, where people are "rooted" to their couches? Get it? Rooted?

I thought we'd celebrate the National Potato Month in a different kind of way. No cooking involved. I am going to give you tips on how to be the perfect couch potato! There is a science to this. After all, you have to be sedentary and unmoving most of the time.

Here are my pointers. Feel free to comment with your own.

1. Invest in premium channels. The more channel you have ,the less chance that  there is nothing on.

2. Don't watch challenging shows. The more you have to think about what you are watching, the more likely you are to get up. Watch sporting events, reruns or cartoons.

3. Watch what you want. If necessary drive your spouse to another room. Nagging creates the need to move and you don't want to move.

4. Use your DVR. That way you absolutely will never run out of programs.

5. Let all your cell calls go directly to voicemail. Answering the phone? A distraction.

6. Have a mini fridge next to your chair. Also, a nice shelf unit with plenty of snacks will come in handy. You won't have to get up to refill.

7. You will have to get up to relieve yourself occasionally. Remember to get up slowly, as the perfect couch potato will have muscle atrophy.

There you have it! Enjoy your couch.