I'm guilty, I haven't saved ANYTHING for retirement, and I'm 31 years old. I only recently (this morning) signed up for Townsquare Media's 401K program. I know nothing about saving, and really, there's no retiring from radio... many of us have been here since the Jurassic era (right, Don Morgan?), and will and up keeling over behind the mic before we give up on this awesome job. That being said, here is a list of the top five most popular retirement plans in the United States:

  • 1

    Marry one of the Kardashians

    It probably won't last long, but I'm sure it'll pay out after it's done!

    Kevin Mazur
  • 2

    Keep hoping there's really a Retirement Fairy.

    She comes in the middle of the night and takes the lint from your empty pockets... and, POOF! Retirement fund!

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  • 3

    Have a relative win the lottery and become rich.

    You know how sharks have those hangy-onny fish things? That's what you can be to a random family member that wins the lottery!

    NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
  • 4

    Dig up old Beanie Babies.

    There are so many of them... even if they're only values at 25 cents a piece, that's like, ten bucks, right?

    Beanie Babies
  • 5

    Sell your organs.

    Who needs vital organs anyhow? Not like you're gonna need them as you get older, right? They don't fail with age, do they?

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