Men Just Don’t Understand Women

GENDER BENDERS...

Guys, we just don't understand women. We try, and try, and we just don't get them. It seems as though we are speaking English, and they only understand Amazon.
Anyway... here are some quotes by married guys. If any of these apply to you, please just down the corresponding number in the comment section. Good luck and hide all the knives....

1) I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

2) It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

3) Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

4) Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

5) How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

6) A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'

7) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!

8) I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

9) If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

10) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.