I quit smoking for a whole month back in November. Once the holidays rolled around, I found myself having one or two cigarettes a day. That led to more and more each day and I've been smoking about a half pack of cigarettes a day since then.

I've been wanting to quit for a long time. I am a bladder cancer survivor for over nine years. I really don't want to go through that again. I won't lie, I really enjoy smoking. To me, there is nothing better than having a cigarette after a greasy meal, with a cup of coffee, or with an ice cold beer. It calms me down and when I'm jonesing for a smoke, I can't concentrate on anything. I don't like the side effects, however. When you are in the shower and it sounds like you are coughing up a lung. Or if you are a smoker and you catch a cold, you just can't stop coughing. If someone ever invented cigarettes that were good for you and would not cause cancer, I would probably smoke two packs a day.

So yesterday morning I smoked one cigarette on my way to work and as soon as I walked in the Whale Studio, I placed a nicotine patch on my arm. I've quit twice before using the patch and the one time I quit for many years before going back again. This time I hope I quit for good. That is unless some scientist somewhere someday invents harmless cigarettes. I know it will never happen but I can dream can't I?