You might thank me for this advice some day. First of all, don't get so drunk that you lose control of yourself. If you do get too drunk, don't fight back when you're inevitable ejected from the establishment that you're in. Third, of all the people to try to fight, do not... I repeat; DO NOT try to fight the bouncer. It will not end well for you.

Fans of Grand Theft Auto V will appreciate this little shout-out:

Don't be this guy.

What have we learned today, class?